Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
