From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
