i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
