I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
