You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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