it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
