ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
