got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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