Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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