i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
