So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
