he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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