my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
