She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
