I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
