Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
