i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
