dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
