So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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