you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
