how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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