i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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