he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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