Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
