And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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