porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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