Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
