it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Randomize
