You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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