my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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