I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
