Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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