When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize