when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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