Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
