Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
