he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
