it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
