he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
