sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
