I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
