If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
