yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
