Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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