so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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