Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
