did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
