Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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