went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
