I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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