i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
