Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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