Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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