I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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