My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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