I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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