Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
