I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
