i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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