turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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